Monday, February 05, 2007

memememememememe

Because she said
p.s. Feel free to take this meme on. Not that it is one. But if it were, you could. I'm just sayin'. (But please, oh, just, really don't, don't do it. It's horrible. A horrible meme. No one should make themselves remember this much bullshit about themselves at once. I'm the only who should be that stupid. Because I am. I give you this post for exhibit A-gajillion.)


1. I hate that I waste so much time. That I don’t achieve a fraction of things I ought to because I’m pissing the day/week/year/life away. And that ‘s not just stuff for myself, its stuff for them. Even little things like fixing something or finding something. Or doing a tenth of the stuff that I tell them I’m going to do. And it’s not because I’m genuinely busy, it’s because I always find something meaningless to do and the hours just evaporate.

2. I hate that I’ve allowed myself to get so damn fat. So that none of my clothes fit me as dress sizes come and go. People I haven’t seen for a long time have trouble controlling the shock on their faces. It has little to do with having been pregnant four years ago. I cook too much and I eat too much and I’m sedentary and I do nothing about it. I have plenty of opportunities to do something about it but I don’t. Pretty soon I think my entire face will disappear into a jabba the hut type gloop of flesh.

3. I hate that I’m so bad at remembering things that are important to my friends. Birthdays. Parental illnesses. That they’ll be out of the country for a week or they’re worried about their job, partner, health. My friends are awesome and supportive.

4. I hate that I get so angry and fail to contextualise the situation. As if the whole world is happening inside this very minute and there is nothing else.

5. I hate that I get so enthused and fail to contextualise the situation. As if the whole world is happening inside this very minute.

6. I hate that I may be depriving my child of relationships with the 80% of my family that I don’t have a relationship with.

7. I hate that my teeth are crooked, even though I wore braces for years.

8. I hate that I always throw the reminder letters about smear tests away without mentioning it to anyone.

9. I hate that I can rarely remember anything I read.

10. I hate that my first instinct is to answer ‘no’ to a question before I’ve even heard what is being asked.

4 Comments:

At 12:58 pm, February 05, 2007, Blogger The very nice man said...

1. I love it that you are alive
2. I love it that you are so honest about things
3. I love the fact that you are not a skinny person
4. I love to read your blog and listen to you
5. I love to know who filled your head with negative things about yourself
6. I love it that you are not perfect - it makes us alike
7. I love it that you have good friends! They will understand if you forget things.
8. I love it that God loves you!

Now you can write the last 2 positives! :-)

 
At 1:19 pm, February 05, 2007, Blogger dodo said...

thanks for the kind words and thoughts.

 
At 4:31 am, February 06, 2007, Blogger Red Rollerskate said...

i related to too much of this! especially about not putting things in context. Tooootally understand.

 
At 6:15 am, February 06, 2007, Blogger lildb said...

I love that you did this. I love that you are you.

I can go on, if you'd like. I'll see your ten hates with matchy loves.

ha. :p

 

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