Voodooesque

memememememememe

Because she said
p.s. Feel free to take this meme on. Not that it is one. But if it were, you could. I'm just sayin'. (But please, oh, just, really don't, don't do it. It's horrible. A horrible meme. No one should make themselves remember this much bullshit about themselves at once. I'm the only who should be that stupid. Because I am. I give you this post for exhibit A-gajillion.)


1. I hate that I waste so much time. That I don’t achieve a fraction of things I ought to because I’m pissing the day/week/year/life away. And that ‘s not just stuff for myself, its stuff for them. Even little things like fixing something or finding something. Or doing a tenth of the stuff that I tell them I’m going to do. And it’s not because I’m genuinely busy, it’s because I always find something meaningless to do and the hours just evaporate.

2. I hate that I’ve allowed myself to get so damn fat. So that none of my clothes fit me as dress sizes come and go. People I haven’t seen for a long time have trouble controlling the shock on their faces. It has little to do with having been pregnant four years ago. I cook too much and I eat too much and I’m sedentary and I do nothing about it. I have plenty of opportunities to do something about it but I don’t. Pretty soon I think my entire face will disappear into a jabba the hut type gloop of flesh.

3. I hate that I’m so bad at remembering things that are important to my friends. Birthdays. Parental illnesses. That they’ll be out of the country for a week or they’re worried about their job, partner, health. My friends are awesome and supportive.

4. I hate that I get so angry and fail to contextualise the situation. As if the whole world is happening inside this very minute and there is nothing else.

5. I hate that I get so enthused and fail to contextualise the situation. As if the whole world is happening inside this very minute.

6. I hate that I may be depriving my child of relationships with the 80% of my family that I don’t have a relationship with.

7. I hate that my teeth are crooked, even though I wore braces for years.

8. I hate that I always throw the reminder letters about smear tests away without mentioning it to anyone.

9. I hate that I can rarely remember anything I read.

10. I hate that my first instinct is to answer ‘no’ to a question before I’ve even heard what is being asked.

posted by dodo @ 11:35 am