Friday, June 29, 2007

Counsel me.

When work started to reach a peak of demandy workiness in the last month or so, I found it increasingly difficult to make my appointments with the 'couch.' the appointments are first thing on a Thursday. I work monday thru wednesday and originally chose that slot for my sessions so that they were over and done with and I could spend all thursday doing stuff with P. The first thing to throw a spanner in the works was that the young woman, an employee at P's nursery, developed a complication in her pregnancy which required her to attend clinic on thursday mornings. SO then it was a case of asking around my friends to see who could have her, getting her there and then getting to my apopintment for 9. this was awful as, apart from hating the idea that people think I would take them for granted that hour or so each week, it became hard work to remember to organise it. then i was involved in a biggish product launch and was working longer hours and increased days, so maybe wasn't even home on a thursday, or was too exhausted to contemplate getting the pair of us up and washed and dressed and to our respective destinations.

so i missed three sessions in a row - it wasn't that i cancelled at the last minute, but it was generally the night before, so i don't mind that i still have to pay.

simultaneously with this, when I had my 'funny turn' which resulted in my haivng all these tests lately (next one is one wednesday) and was about to have my first appointment with the neurologist, i was wondering whether he would ask me if i had/had ever had mental health problems - on account of the fact that my 'funny turn' problem is reckoned to be of the brain chemistry variety. I wasn't sure whether I should just volunteer the information because in my experience even people in the medical profession can be prejudiced and dismissive. So I asked her what she thought about that. She wouldn't answer me. Because of course they never answer questions. about anything. no reactions. enigmatic not quite smile. the acknowledging guttural 'hmmm' s. stifling the occasional laugh I illicit from her. blank canvass etc etc. and I'm sure they do this for a reason. She's been at it a long time and comes highly regarded and highly recommended.

this annoyed me. like when after my first couple of sessions I asked her what she thought I could reasonably expect to achieve from these. "what would you like to achieve?" she countered. And a few weeks ago I asked "how do I measure this? what benchmarks should I employ? What do we call progress?"

I got nothing.

So, since it was taking an impossible amount of energy to keep going and because i wanted to take stock of the whole thing, I said I wanted to take a break, then maybe find a different time in the week.

She has since texted and then written to me suggested we have one more session.

"so that we can discuss the question you raised about how to benchmark the counselling and what other options you have, and so that we have a proper ending to this piece of counselling work."

Apart from the obvious "what's a 'proper ending' ?" question, why could she not answer the measury stuff before?

I don't know how I feel about the whole thing.


At 4:03 pm, June 29, 2007, Anonymous Alys said...

I found at the end of my counselling (signed up for 6 or so sessions) I wanted to punch the counsellor as she wouldn't answer any question with a straight answer. Much like yours by the sound of things. I think they must learn it at counselling school!

Hope you get your thoughts sorted out about it all.


At 5:10 pm, June 29, 2007, Blogger dodo said...

money was definitely better spent on getting your nails done!

At 12:44 am, June 30, 2007, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I ended up with a wonderful psychologist who had decided psychology was horseshit. He listened to us and he talked a great deal to. He was more of a teacher than a cousellor. I learned a lot from him.

Good luck, there are better ones out there. You can shop around.

At 8:55 pm, June 30, 2007, Anonymous Stephanie said...

I agree. Find another. It really is money wasted unless you and your counselor have an agreed on plan and goal.


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