Friday, June 08, 2007

What Comes Next?

I should preface this post by confessing that I occasionally, sneakily, check the text messages on the mobile phone of 'the man of the house.' This is because he is notoriously poor at relaying information to me from/about his parents/siblings thus making me frequently feel very out of the loop/disinterested at family gatherings.


1. When I came home from work the other night I found that the floors downstairs had been mopped and the upholstery vacuumed free of its cat hair coating.

2. In bed the other night, he did something completely new. A new 'trick,' if you will. Out of the blue.

3. He's recently taken up running and working out again (this is a man who, before we got together, regularly used one of those plug in stick on electro-tone type devices) after barely looking at gym equipment in nearly five years.

4. In his phone is a bunch of messages from a woman he works with, K. "take care, see you monday" "you're just no good without your running mate" "will hopefully see you then" "great to see you"

5. his phone doesn't keep all sent messages, but has an outbox which keeps them for a couple of days. He'd sent her and I the exact same message about an out of town meeting being cancelled. He'd sent her a message a couple of nights ago, at 18:36 "You have no idea how much I would rather be with you than here . . . ." And that dot dot dot? that was in the message.


At 8:34 pm, June 08, 2007, Anonymous lildb said...

the fuck?


At 3:53 am, June 09, 2007, Blogger Marymurtz said...


Damn, damn, damn.



At 6:21 pm, June 09, 2007, Anonymous Anonymous said...


It's always amazing how human beings, myself included, delude themselves into believing that different is better. It's not, it's just different for a very short time and then it's the same again.

At 8:51 pm, June 09, 2007, Blogger Mel said...

Oh, shit.
Dodo, oh no. I'm so sorry.
(P.S. - I had all kinds of terrible vindictive things to say about Man of the House, but I will refrain. You don't need that right now.)

At 10:28 am, June 10, 2007, Blogger HerImperialMajesty said...

le crueset griddle. loud cracking sound
love you lady

At 1:22 pm, June 10, 2007, Blogger dodo said...

i was hoping that by now someone would have said "Oh, I'm sure there's a perfectly reasonable explanation"!!

At 3:10 pm, June 10, 2007, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Sadly, there is a perfectly reasonable explanation but it's probably not very nice. Talk to him. I don't know what would bother me more, what he's doing or how sloppy he is. Maybe he wants you to know? Stranger things have happened.

I don't know anything about you guys, how long you've been married or any of that stuff but I do know that it's very easy to have your ego boosted by someone else. Someone who doesn't expect anything of you with regards to everyday, boring stuff. But as I said before, it's only a short term boost, no different that what he already has. He just doesn't understand that.

He also probably thinks that all the good feelings he gets from running and talking with this woman come from her, when in reality, they come from within himself.

I know this from experience Dodo. More importantly I guess, is what do you want to do?

I would talk to him. It's terrifying but I'm of the opinion it's better to know the worst than just imagine it. Or you can just ignore it, let it run it's course and hope for the best.

If I'm completely off the mark, just ignore me or tell me to shut up. I tend to run on, obviously.

Good luck sweetie.

At 12:53 am, June 11, 2007, Blogger Lisa said...

Oh Dodo. I am so sorry. Oh wow. Please update to let us know how you're doing.

At 12:16 pm, June 11, 2007, Anonymous Jenny said...

It could be a harmless flirtation but I'd be pissed personally.

Still, you need to ask and see if he has a good excuse. Victor found out that I'd registered for eharmony and suspected I was cheating but I actually did it for a friend who of course confirmed it but until he saw the details and the emails he suspected the worst. Give him the benefit of the doubt...but don't trust him entirely. Men are dogs. Sometimes.

I'm not helping, am I?


At 12:25 pm, June 11, 2007, Blogger dodo said...

Jenny - yes you are!
You all are.
thank you

At 12:31 pm, June 11, 2007, Anonymous Alys said...

You know where I am if you need to talk.


At 12:47 pm, June 11, 2007, Blogger HerImperialMajesty said...

carting this around must be horrid.

At 12:51 pm, June 11, 2007, Blogger dodo said...

no time to think about it. we had friends over all day yesterday and he's gone off for this run thing today. My mind is on the EEG this afternoon and the big client launch I have next tuesday.
he knows I know though. the messages are deleted from his phone (i put the little lock thing on them so he'd know I'd stopped by), and you wouldn't believe the amount of housework he's done in the last 48 hours!

At 4:05 pm, June 11, 2007, Blogger HerImperialMajesty said...

i don't think he can hoover and diy his way out of this one...

At 9:30 pm, June 12, 2007, Anonymous lildb said...

what maj said in the last comment is THE zinger.

what he did sucks.

I still think you need to talk.

when the other crap is out of the way, that is (and I don't mean to refer to the EEG or the client launch as crap, per se, but I was just trying to be succinct).

*hugs dodo*

At 7:36 pm, June 30, 2007, Anonymous Stephanie said...

I missed this.

I'm SO sorry!!

And I'm coming to see you in London. We don't have to talk about it if you don't want to. We'll talk about your new PM or what a bad mother I am or how all of football is riddled with bad officiating.

I think you need to hear my Texas accent, anyway!

At 9:14 pm, June 30, 2007, Blogger Beccy said...

I missed this as well, you poor thing, I can't imagine what you are going through.


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